i posted 43 blogpost (1 more than in 2010) in 2011

2011 is a good year. Define good. I am able to hold a gainful employment and pay a lot of debt. My gross income is sorrowfuly deceitful yet there is enough left for comfortable living, comfortable means modest and i can't complain about it. Work takes a big part of my time, 40 hours a week of staring numbers at the computer but again i am not going to bitch about it. By the time i get off the office, my eyes are wired that all i want to do is stare at the sky. I like aquamarine blue. I dislike orangy fire. I have books at the bottom of my laundry basket that are waiting to be read. I intend to read them in my sleep but for now i will be contented to memorize their titles and create sub-plots at the back of my mind. It may come in handy during the rainy days, especially with the economic climate that we have. I have written some poems and stories and some found homes. Thank you editors for liking them. Thank you Muses for kicking me in my life of stupor and seducing me drunkenly with words. I will continue to write. My first resolution is to seriously fucking write on 2012.

did you hear the baby crying during the singing of silent night?

i have always been christmas-solicited all my life, there must be an iota of philantrophy in me that attracts solicitors and peddlers and salesman and all kinds of shrewdness, is it my fake-i-have-money-to-burn-smile or my dumb-becoming-awestruck-face that they seek me like a scud target? an old lady at the bus station singled me out and flaunted her business ideas while i was with two travelling companions, i was also nicey nicey looking that a retired volunteer lady sales-talked me to buy "an almost new book for a gift" at the library bookstore, i can go on but i will be embarassing myself more so....

people i know asked me if i am ready for Christmas and i always halfheartedly answered "i think so", i contemplated this question because the rituals of Christmas are somewhat getting tiresome, all these material appearances of having something to open, to give, to take... but not enough spiritual substance to coat our own intent, i kind-a dwelled on this blight until i realized i am being a cynic and a critic, i am also being grouchy whereas i should be child-like and bright-eyed on this time of year, it's like this awakening that i am thankful that i celebrated 2011 Christmas with a warm meaning around the dinner table with family and friends.

if you don't hear from me, i have run away with your gift and money

i ordered tuna melt on our Christmas lunch, i like it, it's like eating soil on a rye bread, it was a fun lunch and a weird one too, they raffled names for a big t.v. and for a while i was the frontrunner, i got an emotional kick out of it but soon realized it was all the luck of the draw, kind-a glad i did not win it

i won something but i have to bite my tongue so the words would spill out, i have one - two poems on the xmas issue of Yellow Mama, i also have something at Orion headless, this one i have to bite my tongue a little harder so i can taste my own blood because it is about a celebratory loss, aren't you glad sometimes that you get to know someone really well before they vanish out of your hair?

hohoho Christmas and New Year is around the corner, for some it is the season to be stressed but i understand if you don't, keep it up because we need merry thinkers and forgiving souls on the holidays.

"M" is for motivation

nobody reads my blog but i will continue to interact because i like talking to myself, i talk to some people at a party earlier but i have nothing to report back because we mostly talk about work advancement which is a non-erectile topic for the brain

i think the worst is over for my cough, i have decongested, i just have to irrigate what is left...

the year end always carry loads of unfinished business and additional worry loads of to-do-list for the new year, at the bat i wish to have a stress-less perspective and be more positivistic with my outlook, i am currently under the impression that hard work will lead to success but i often forget to enjoy every ounce of that labor - very slavish mentality

how does motivational partner sounds? if you feel like we are on the same shoe then shoot me something, maybe we can walk on the same dirt road, only it wouldn't be as lonely.

writing makes me drowsy

i am semi high on medicated mist, my vaporizer is steaming as i type, inhale inhale the power of vicks, my clogged sinus needs it, earlier i ground and gurgled me some hot salt water on my throat, it felt dry but the moist scent of vicks relieved me like im in a cloud forest in guatemala

too high for a fog but too low for a cloud, that's me lately, my second bad cough of the season, first the rain and now the santa ana's, my resistance is rebelling, bought me loads of fresh produce and vitamin c and cold medicine, tell that to John Keats

wish i can see more clearly, and wake up on a hammock with a book, you yes you can you please recite Bright Star to me and then let's get married, i need tropical breeze, not the insipid passing of winter, you and i will sing amazing grace together.