i want to tell you (maybe)

that i've been hurt by my job termination, truth be told i hated that job but i didn't like the ungrateful exit even more, i worked for $$$ and that was all my worth, i worked to stay alive, i worked to not get buried by thoughts of not being alive

that i have an uneasy feeling about my current job application even though i have signed an acceptance letter, i am afraid i have secrets that i wanted them to find out, i have secrets, i have consciously volunteered  secrets

that i have talked to some people and i listened to their problems and i have something to say to their problems which makes them feel good for a while (i think) BUT i cannot say it is complimentary otherwise

that being unemployed is different from having a vacation, that i  am still reeling with a very enclosed almost communistic perspective of work order and that i can only truly say i am on vacation when a job is waiting for me

that i should loosen up and just enjoy my time away from whatever i am bitching about.